They Call me “DAD”


It’s 8 days before Christmas. 12:24am. and finally everyone is asleep! We have traveled up to Nashville to meet my sister-in-law who is flying in to meet us to make the rest of the 10 hour drive with Kym and the kids to TX were we will spend Christmas this year with her family. I’ll be flying to Dallas on Monday as I’ve gotta work the rest of the week.

As I lay here in the Baymont Inn in Nashville, TN with two kids in my twin bed and two in Kym’s twin bed and I can’t help but get a little emotional.

Yes, It’s been a absolutely HORRIBLE night. As one could imagine. 6 Groves in 1 hotel room = Insanity! 20 min in the room and the phone was broken, toilet had a slice of pizza put in it that caused it to over flow and I decided the best place to stick the boys, because their sister was screaming her head off and Kym was out trying to find a microwave to warm a bottle up was of course, in the bathtub. (probably hasn’t been cleaned in who knows how long) And the only thing I could find for them to play with was three recycled paper cups. After ten min it looked like a dadgum paper-mache project on the bathroom wall. (Recycled paper cups dont really last long in the water)

After the screaming, jumping from bed to bed calmed down we all laid on the bed and watched a youtube video cartoon called “The story of Christmas” as I laid there watching my little kids (4, 3, 2 & 1) take it in I thought to myself “Take a mental picture of this” these are the moments that matter. These are the moments that I will think back to and say were some good times. These are the moments I don’t want to forget. And then my little Bubba, Corbin (2) got within a inch of my face and said in his not so clear speech “Lobe uo daddy” and then goes to sleep on my chest. It’s that moment I want to remember.

You see before I became a dad I placed a high value on my time. I had my hobbies and my vices, the things I liked to do — mine.

4 years ago when we learned that Kym was expecting our first kid, I was initially resistant for all the obvious, “how will I afford/manage/handle this?” reasons and also because if kids require anything, they require TIME.  Not only do they require it, they deserve it! I was faced with having to give up that which I consider very personal.

However, now that I’m a dad with some years on me, I can barely remember what I was doing with all the time I had as a kid-free man.

I don’t regret the “freedom” and “my time” that I’ve traded for becoming a dad. If anything being a dad is what makes up “My time” now.

In losing my time, I’ve experienced the following:

  • Being a protector, teacher and provider to your kids it way more rewarding than anything else you can achive
  • Hearing “Daddy!” screamed with excitement when I come home each day and being the recipient and giver of the most genuine hugs in the world. (Money can’t buy that)
  • Hearing the word “Daddy”, and knowing the different meanings behind it based on the tone when it’s being said and knowing how to respond accordingly.
  • The excitement that comes with watching my kids grow and learn and the outlook on life they gain every day.
  • The particular strength and tenacity gained from becoming Dad that no trainer, gym nor any other life experience would have been able to teach or provide.
  • Being blessed with the opportunity to continue the cycle: to pour wisdom into my boys as they quickly grow and will approach manhood before I know it, just as my father poured his wisdom into me often.
  • Relearning to appreciate the little things, just as my kids do.
  • Realizing that the “big things” aren’t really all that big because some of the biggest things in life are the little ones who call you Dad.

These are just a few of the unexpected joys that have come my way since I became a father. They make the hard work of being a parent feel like a cakewalk most days. And on those challenging days when it’s not so great or easy I think of the joy, privilege and honor of it all, and that really makes it okay. Because I get to be DAD to four awesome humans.

I read this blog post (Click link to read) a few years ago before I had kids and I remember thinking “wonder if that is true” Well. 4 kids later I cant honestly say…. It is.

You will have a lot of titles put on you in your life. The best title any man can ever have is to be called DAD. So if you are a Dad stop and enjoy the moments. The little moments, the big moments. Don’t get consumed trying to capture it. Just live in it. Take it all in and enjoy the fact that there is child who calls you dad.



Oh, You are a “Campus Pastor” what do you actually do?


After 10 years in Full time Student Ministry God moved me into a new role. The position I gladly stepped into a little over two years ago is that of a Campus Pastor at Rock Bridge Community Church Ringgold Campus. I LOVE MY JOB! However, when I tell people I’m a Campus pastor they always seem to ask the question “So, what do you actually do” Because I don’t preach every week it seems like a strange roll. What I’ve learned is that because I don’t preach every week it frees me up to pastor and live life with people that I normally wouldn’t have time to. Also, communication happens in relationship and not just using the sermon to preach at people! 

I was reading some blogs this morning I came across he had this post called “What is a Campus Pastor? Hopefully this will help you understand a little better just exactly “what” we that call ourselves “Campus Pastors” actually do!

In August, 2012, Leadership Network released a report stating that over 5,000 churches are now multi-site churches (churches that meet in more than one location for worship) It’s a growing trend that first began with mega-churches, but has now expanded to churches of all sizes. With this new trend a new staff role has emerged, that of “Campus Pastor.” While a lot churches are still trying to figure out this new role, here are 6 things that great Campus Pastors do:

1. Reproduce Culture

In a multi-site setting you’re not building culture as so much as you are reproducing it. Somewhere along the line there was a decision made that the church had a culture worth replicating. That’s a big reason you’re multi-siting in the first place. Great Campus Pastors know how to reproduce culture in the context of the community of the new campus location.

2. Build Organizational Alignment

A Campus Pastor doesn’t have to come up with the mission, vision, values, spiritual maturity pathway, leadership distinctive, campus constants, and doctrinal statement. Again, those things already exist. But they do need to know how to build alignment around them and through them.

3. Big “I” Implementer

A great Campus Pastor makes things happen. They know how to see ideas through from concept to completion. They know how to set the staff up to succeed in the implementation of the goals, calendars and budgets of all ministries on their Campus in a manner that moves the campus towards the vision.

4. Cooperation

Great Campus Pastors know how to work with others. They know how to work with “Central Services” such as a centralized Business or Creative Arts Department to get the right things done.

5. Build a Leadership Culture

They know how to recruit, train, coach and mentor a Staff Team. They provide leadership and oversight to the Campus Staff and in so doing create a healthy staff team environment and leadership culture.

6. Shepherd the Congregation

At the end of the day great Campus Pastors love the local church. They have a shepherding gift and care about people becoming what God has dreamed up for them to look like. They know how to problem solve and shepherd through congregational matters.

Summer Camp is over.

This Summer has been awesome being able to travel and speak at a few youth camps. I LOVE Student Ministry! The 11 years I spent working as a full time Student pastor were some of the best years of my life. I was reflecting this morning over the time spent at youth camps this summer and I came across this blog on Eric Geiger’s blog

That I wanted to share with you!

1) Many students want the truth

They don’t need talks completely designed around funny illustrations. They don’t need sermonettes that presume they can only handle truth in small doses. They can understand the Bible and the deep truths discovered in God’s Word. They respond well when someone respects them and their minds enough not to pamper them and talk to them like children. Several of the student pastors I interacted with that week shared their belief that “many student ministries and churches underestimate students.” I sat in on a church group time after one of the worship services, and the students were discussing and applying the Word in their context.

2) Students are searching for an identity

The students in my first youth ministry are in or approaching their thirties now, but though time is passing, I see a lot of the same struggles/searching in students. There are still kids trying to impress others, still hurting students who cut themselves, still students who seek an identity in a relationship, and others in an accomplishment like what they can do on a field or court. Some are rejoicing in Christ and enjoying the identity found in Him.

In the 1960s, a social psychologist named Erik Erikson developed a theory of human development. While not a theologian, he did study one aspect of God’s general revelation: humanity, God’s crowning work of creation. In Erikson’s model, teenagers reach a point of developmental crisis called “role confusion versus identity.” Teenagers are searching for an identity, a reputation. They experiment with their dress, music, friends, and hobbies to help form the version of who they are, the person they want to be.

Jesus provides students with the greatest identity one can ever find. They are His, loved by God, forgiven and free. Erikson believed that if teenagers did not leave adolescence with a deep sense of their identity, they would struggle throughout adulthood with issues related to their identity. Erikson’s theory confirms the conviction that a student’s identity must be grounded in Christ. Belonging to God, because of the all-sufficient sacrifice of Jesus, is the only identity that is secure. All the other identities discovered in middle school (athlete, honor student, boyfriend, in-crowd, etc.) will quickly fade. No identity other than the identity found in Christ will last.

3) Students are deeply relational

The wrestling with identity, for students, is a relational wrestling. Student ministry author Richard Dunn stated that for students “the question of ‘Who am I?’ is most often answered ‘Whose am I?’” meaning students will search out their identities in relationship, seeking to understand where they belong. Because students are so relational, effective student ministry is relational. Thus, the Christ-centered college students, moms and dads, young couples, and older adults who invest relationally in students, who are there for teenagers, who lead student small groups, who open their homes for hang-out times—all to point them to Jesus—these people are absolute heroes. It takes a team, a community of leaders, to lead effective youth ministry…not a sole youth pastor feverishly attempting to reach every student.

God bless

In the last week alone I’ve had two churches ask me if I knew any good prospects for a youth pastor position. I’ve had another five ask me in the last month or two. Each of these conversations always led to the question: “what would you look for in a youth pastor?”

That’s a great question, and you’ll find a variety of scales and measures people use in their quest for someone to lead young people. Some are generic guidelines for ministry. For example, Bill Hybels “4 C’s” (Character, Competence, Chemistry, Culture) prove effective for many people, with an emphasis on ‘character,’ a quality that definitely shouldn’t be overlooked.

But I find that the search for a youth minister has several qualities unique to the position, something I might not search for in every ministry position. So my list, in total, is unique to a youth pastor.

Let me start with a “given.” This won’t even count as part of my seven; it’s the foundation, which the other seven rest.

GIVEN: The person demonstrates a strong walk with God through a growing personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

1. Tell us about your relationship with Christ and how it’s grown recently?

2. What are some areas you need to work on in your relationship with Christ? What are you doing daily/weekly to work on these areas?

Again, if the person can’t answer these questions… the interview is over.

Should always look for Humility/Teachability

Watch out for the youth pastor that always says, “I got this,” or “I got that covered.” That’s a red flag, a siren wailing that this person doesn’t want any help and thinks that he can do it by himself.

You want a youth pastor who is teachable. This as the delicate balance of self-confidence and humility (a tough balance). This person is a learner and isn’t intimidated by having to be teachable. The result is a youth pastor who is confident in their abilities, but completely aware where he got those abilities, giving God credit. “humility combined with conviction.”

This person will be a sponge, trying to learn from every situation. They want to be mentored and learn at every opportunity. They are self-assured, but welcome and truly consider suggestions.

The humble person also strives to understand his or her own strengths and weaknesses. As they grow, they’ll learn to focus on their gifts and allow others to step in where needed. Self-awareness goes hand in hand with humility. I’ve heard Doug Fields say, “You never lose with humility.” Yep, but pride kills.

Watch out for these red flags evident in the life of the “unteachable” youth pastor:
•Has trouble delegating and empowering. Wants to do everything himself.
•Is quick to dismiss certain methodologies that are contrary to what he has done.
•He won’t let a lot of others speak or be up front. Always in the center of any programs or videos.
•Doesn’t always recruit a lot of volunteers because he wants more control.
•When a supervisor asks him about certain methodologies, he’s quick to claim, “I’ve tried that and it doesn’t work.”
•Sometimes this person doesn’t use any resources from others, but insists on writing and creating their own. (Writing your own curriculum is not a bad thing. But some leaders are compulsive about this and don’t want to use anything else but their own. This person often wastes valuable time re-inventing the wheel.)



Found this on Pastor Perry Nobles blog today:
#1 – Do not say “NO” for that someone that keeps popping into your head. You never know what is going on in their life and right now may be the BEST time to ask them.

#2 – Offer to buy them a meal either before or after the service. Who doesn’t love a good meal?

#3 – If they are single, tell them they might meet someone cute! (It has absolutely happened in the past).

#4 – Seriously spend time in prayer asking God who you need to specifically reach out to and invite to an Easter service.

#5 – Don’t feel like you have to be a theological expert and know all of the answers to all of the hypothetical questions you have imagined them asking you. You don’t have to know it all! You just have to know that Jesus saves and that’s what we’re going to talk about at church this weekend.

#6 – Don’t tell yourself you will just pray for them without pursuing them. YES…we should pray for people far from God, but we should also be willing to pursue them like Jesus pursued us.

#7 – Read John 1:43-51 and see that “Found People Find People” really is true.

#8 – Give yourself permission to be excited about church! If people can get excited about the Instagram picture of their microwave dinner then WE can get excited about people crossing over from death to life.

#9 – Understand that everyone really does spend eternity somewhere.

#10 – Realize that fear doesn’t come from the Lord (II Timothy 1:7)! If HE has placed someone on your heart to invite then He has gone before you and prepared them for the invite as well.


So You Want To Be A Pastor?



This is a great blog post that I read today at

So you want to be a pastor, huh? Congratulations! According to 1 Timothy 3:1, you desire a “noble task.” But maybe you also know that this is something that won’t happen for a while. You need time to grow into the role. So what can you do today to prepare for tomorrow?

Tell someone who can help

The first step towards becoming a pastor someday is to let someone know today who is already a pastor. Scripture makes it clear (2 Tim. 2:2) that pastors are responsible for developing other pastors. And one of the best things I get to do as a pastor is helping other men move toward serving the church in the same way. Your request for help and guidance won’t be an imposition. It will be a blessing to the man who is responsible for developing you.

Start serving

One of the greatest myths among young men aspiring to be pastors is that there is a second conversion in which you transform instantaneously from being a guy to a pastor guy. The truth is that Jesus makes men into pastors over time. So there are ways in which you can avail yourself to his plan today. Pastor is an office as well as a function. So you can pastor others, within biblical parameters, without holding the office today. Teach a kid’s class. Lead a small group. Offer your volunteer services to assist your pastor so that he can better focus on the things only he must do.

Start studying

The best tool on the belt of pastoral ministry is the Bible. It’s what the rifle is to the infantryman. So master Scripture. Read it, study it, listen to it being preached, memorize it and meditate on it. Make it your goal to gospel the people you serve rather than sharing from your personal experiences or insights. Let the Bible speak through you to others and their lives will be impacted.

Start evangelizing

I believe this is the most unrealized aspect of pastoral ministry today. There are many, many pastors. But evangelistic pastors are few and far between. Maybe this is why the Apostle Paul exhorts young Timothy to “do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.” While you aren’t yet qualified to preach, you are empowered by the Holy Spirit to share the gospel with those who don’t yet know Jesus. Go for it!

Keep repenting

Pastors don’t become pastors through their own blood, sweat, and tears. They become pastors through the blood, sweat, and tears of Jesus. And the best way to experience Jesus’ transforming work is through the repetitive act of repentance. Turn from your sin openly and definitively. Trust in him completely. And do this over and over again. Be filled with the Holy Spirit. Then be useful in his hands by serving his people.

Thoughts of a former Student Pastor


It’s hard to believe that I’ve been out of the student ministry world for a year and half now. 10 years in full time Student Ministry. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those pastors who says “I would never go back” “I’m glad to be out”… Nope, not me! I LOVE STUDENT MINISTRY! I didn’t view student ministry as a stepping stool to the big time senior pastor job.

I miss the awkward conversations, Lock-ins, dealing with parents, watching a student get it.

I sat down the other night as kinda a “look back” over the last 11 years in SM and I wrote down a few things that I learned (Some the hard-way) and made a list. If you are new to student ministry/youth groups (whatever you call it) maybe you are looking for some insight maybe these few things will help guide you. Here is a list of things I wish someone would have told me before I started. 

1. Students matter to God and warrant our efforts to extend the gospel to them.

2. The gospel of Jesus Christ must be presented in a way that is relevant to the culture of middle school students (Eph. 6:18,19) as well as high school students

3. Evangelism is a process and is best accomplished within the context of relationships. Not your sermon one night a week.

4. There are various levels of spiritual interest and Christian commitment among students.

5. Effective student ministry is done through the development of real relationships between believers and non-churched students.

6. Student ministry done with excellence reflects God and attracts students.

7. Student ministry is to be reviewed and evaluated for real effectiveness. CONSTANTLY! Just because it worked “that one time” don’t think it will work again!

8. Student ministry should be built on the team principle–not on the gifts of one individual.

9. Every student, once they become a Christian, is capable of and should be involved in the work of building God’s Kingdom.

10. Invest in Middle Schoolers. I say it again INVEST IN MIDDLE SCHOOLERS! (In 10 years when you have strong lasting relationship you can thank me)

11. Don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know” A student would rather hear you say that than tell them a crap answer!

12. Please treat them like teenagers. Student Ministry is NOT children’s ministry. Don’t play pointless games, Don’t talk down to them on a dumbed down level. Understand they probably know more about certain subjects than you do.

13. Don’t try to be their best friend. Be their pastor.  The moment you become “BFF’s” you loose the credibility that you would have as their pastor. (That being said, know that eventually you will have some great friends that are former students. Invest in their lives and they will stick around!)

14. LOVE THEM. Don’t just treat them as a job. REALLY LOVE THEM. Show them. Tell them. (This is huge)

15. Always keep in mind… You are helping mold the adult they will be in a few short year.

16. Build a good relationship with parents. Parents are NOT the enemy they are your best line of defense. Student Ministries/pastors that have a good relationship with parents have a thriving SM.

Remember… Your student ministry is only as effective as your relationship with the parents is.

17. Don’t be surprised when you get stabbed in the back from: Your leaders, Parents, other Student Pastors, close friends. gotta put your big boy underwear on and go with it.

Remember: TRUTH never fears a challenge!

18. Always ALWAYS be open and honest with your senior pastor. Don’t surprise him.

19. DREAM BIG. And don’t allow the ministry/people to kill that dream!

20. Don’t give up!  Don’t quit!  Stay in the fight!!! 

God called you to be a warrior…and sometimes warriors get wounded.  BUT…wounds should not take the desire to fight out of us…but rather cause us to want to fight even more.

Don’t quit…don’t give up…fight the good fight!  (Galatians 6:9)

Pray, fast, preach, witness, memorize Scripture…and give satan a swift kick in the cookies as often as possible!!

But whatever you do…don’t give up!  He called you—He gifted you—He empowered you and He will sustain you!  (II Corinthians 4) – the WHOLE THING!

Don’t give up! To many are following you for you to throw in the towel and quit. KEEP GOING!

21. DO NOT give up on a student because he/she doesn’t “Get it” now or after they graduate and leave and are no longer part of your ministry!

Here is a freebie: Don’t burn bridges. You never know when you might need that bridge to walk over again.

God bless you.

Keep fighting the good fight!

Some of the most loved pictures from my Student Ministry days: 261296_515244725074_4328063_n300x300-5 216505_504256839884_8354_n

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Label me—-> “Family Man”

I am a blessed man! If you would have told me 10 years ago that I would have a awesome wife and 4 kid before my 32nd birthday I would have probably laughed at you. But now that I’m here I wouldn’t change a thing! I LOVE MY FAMILY! 1454867_550886808054_1502552960_nMy wife and I just got back from a long LONG road trip over Christmas with our 4 kids under the age of 4. It was one of the most Amazing/horrible/memorable/terrifying/awesome trips of my life. a 8 hour drive (one way) turned into a 15 hour drive (one way).

All 6 of us in one hotel room spreading some holiday cheer for the rest of the floor to hear!

Looking back on the trip it was one I wouldn’t want to do again… But, I will remember it!  Someone recently asked me on twitter (@JCGroves) how I prioritize my family.

#1 – Read good books

“Choosing To Cheat” by Andy Stanley is a great book that I highly recommend. Read one together and talk about it.

#2 – I Made It A Point To Prioritize My Family.

No one is going to do this for you…YOU have got to make it happen…and then guard your time with them with pit bull intensity!

Kym and I have a date night once every two weeks…and NOTHING is getting in the way of that…NOTHING!

I try to have a time alone with me and each one of my kids ALONE…and I don’t let ANYTHING get in our way.

I eat dinner with my family usually six nights a week (Sunday usually being the exception.)

Kym try to get away once or twice a year where it is JUST US, no one else…and that is a good thing! :-)

AND I MADE THAT HAPPEN! If your family is important enough to you…then you will put them on the schedule and dare anyone to try to move them!

Do we have to move things around occasionally? Sure…emergencies happen, one of us gets sick, schedule do change…but that is the exception…and an “emergency” MAY happen around three or four times a year!

#3 – I remind myself that “Loving One Another” MUST Begin With Kym, Kaden, Colton, Corbin & Kenzie

If I am going to be a fully devoted follower of Christ then I am commanded to love others. And…in order to love someone you MUST spend time with them.

One of the problem I see with pastors/people in ministry is that they spend so much time “loving others” that they neglect to love those under their roof. That simply can’t be! LOVE YOUR FAMILY!

#4 – Realize That the work will never be completed.

I’m a freak…most leaders are. I’m self motivated…driven…passionate…and always think that if I just devote a little bit more time to something then it could be better.
I would literally work from 7am to 9pm if I didn’t finally come to the conclusion a few years ago that I will ALWAYS have more to do than I can possibly get done…and being ok with that means that I am learning to trust in HIS abilities rather than mine.

My advice to pastors/ministry leaders is to set a time on your schedule that you are going to leave the office. Turn OFF (Not just on silent) the phone. Shut OFF the computer and go home and BE at home and then NO MATTER what happens…DO IT! Trust me…the work will be there when you get back the next day.

If you are “the best” in everyone’s eyes and not in your wife and kids eyes you ultimately fail as a husband and a dad.

BE the Husband God has called you to be.

BE the Dad your kids need you to be

BE all that God wants you to be.

Here is a link to a great book that I’ve read a few times. It’s from one of Pastor Mark Driscoll’s sermons “Pastor Dad” back_pastordad

GO. Be the husband and dad God has called you to be. And Remember they are watching you!

Poster Child for what could have been.

theres an app for that_wide_t

Few of you have ever heard of Ron Wayne. A lot of you have used the products that stem from his creation.All of you need to know his story because it’s a warning to all of us.

Along with Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak, Ron Wayne cofounded Apple Computer Inc. on April Fools Day, 1976. Yes, there was a third founder of Apple. But few people know that because just twelve days after he signed the agreement he himself drafted that would have given him 10% ownership of the company, he sold back his shares. For $800. If he had stuck it out, today he would be worth around $22 billion.

Instead he now sells stamps out of his home. And plays penny slot machines after midnight. A poster child for what could have been.

Ron bailed on Jobs and Wozniak because he wasn’t sure about the future. Jobs spent a lot of money that Ron was going to have to pay the tab for initially. Wozniak was non-committal. And the prospect of starting a computer company just seemed too difficult and taxing.

Basically, Ron was afraid. Afraid that the payoff wasn’t going to be worth the work. So he quit. And missed out on billions.

Most of us are never going to really experience Ron Wayne’s story on the level at which he experienced it. Most of us are not going to be able to say that we missed out on being responsible for the birth of cool.

But I am afraid that many of us are going to sell out and accept an $800 payoff when we could have made billions. Not literally obviously. But I worry that instead of putting in the hard work and pushing through periods of uncertainty and difficulty, you’re going to take the easy way out and walk away. From your marriage that is struggling. From the calling you know you have received but is tougher than you thought it should be. From the risk you’re supposed to take.

That’s not to say that some people aren’t sometimes called to sell back their shares. The wife that is getting beat by her husband should not wait for a payoff down the road. Sometimes God calls you to a different ministry or career. To move to a new city. To play conservatively.

But more often than not, we sell out before the big payoff because we’re scared. Or we don’t want to do the hard work. Then we use God to justify a decision we have already made out of fear or apathy. And we never know what could have been down the road if we had kept persevering.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Your story is not destined to be a cautionary tale of what could have been. God would rather raise you up to be an example for others of what can be. Of the incredible marriage that is possible through God’s grace and power. Of what God can accomplish through people who stay true to their calling.

God has a much larger payoff for you than the one you’ll receive if you give up now. Persevere. Stick it out. Push through. When the payoff comes, it will be worth the work and the waiting.—-Steven Furtick is the Lead Pastor of Elevation Church, in Charlotte, NC. This was a post on His wall.