Dear CSM Parents,

I wanted to take a moment to inform you about a upcoming  series we are going to be teaching at the Wednesday night IGNITE service starting February 8^th . It is called “Sex, God’s Way” This series deals specifically and candidly about relationships during the middle/high school years. We’re going to be talking candidly about God’s plan for sex.

We know that Sex sells. Sex tempts. Sex Lies. Sex glorifies. How can one thing do all this? In Sex God’s way, I will tackle this oh-so-difficult but oh-so-important topic. Our students are bombarded daily with messages about sex, about their own sexuality and little of it borders on Truth. Rather than try and stifle their natural curiosity with the simple plan to “wait until marriage” this series is going to dig deep to reframe sex in light of God’s design and purpose.

The four topics are:

• Week 1 – Created in God’s image
• Week 2 – God’s word on Sex
• Week 3 – Sex is so much more than I thought
• Week 4 – Messing up to Making up

This series is going to be incredible – the students will be engaged and attentive to this series. We’re praying for scores of commitments and life-change to the Biblical understanding of sex.

I’m sharing these insights with you so you will know what your student will be hearing, and so you can use them as launching pads for discussion. I also wanted to give you this “heads up” because I recognize some may not feel the timing is appropriate for your teenager’s specific needs – if this is the case, please feel free to hold them out of IGNITE for a few short week, or they could go downstairs and help out with our Awana program.

Thanks for allowing our Canyons Church Student Ministry team to play a small part in God’s plan for your teenager’s life.

Please feel free to contact me at JCGroves@canyonschurch.com or by phone at 801-943-2241. If you have any doubts, fears, concerns or questions regarding this series and your teenager. Please get a hold of me.

I just got this book in a few days ago… I have not even started reading it yet. But, as I was looking around the web this morning I came across this Blog at www.rethinkingyouthministry.com  and a blog that was Posted by Brian Kirk. I’m even more intrested now to finish this book and write my thought on this subject….More on this in the coming days! 

If you are a youth worker, paid or volunteer, you know all of the liabilities that youth ministry faces. From simply driving a student home to planning a hiking trip, you have to constantly think about the safety of the students as well as the safety of those serving the students, including yourself. Using Facebook for ministry is not excluded from this safe environment. Here are just a couple of ideas for keeping all protected:

• Protect Yourself. Protect Them.
  There is so many news stories of religious clergy overstepping boundaries and getting in trouble, even when they were not doing anything wrong. Do not put yourself or your students in a compromising situation where you could be accused of something. Just like with any form of communicating, watch your words. Unlike any other form of communicating, Facebook is open for the world to see, including over-protective parents or a board member just looking for a reason to fire you.
• Have Permission Before Posting Pictures
  There could be many reasons a student does not want their picture on Facebook. Their parents are divorced and the parent with custody does not want their ex to see anything. You went swimming and the student is not comfortable having their picture online. The guy just broke up with his girlfriend in the picture and is still upset. Whatever the reason, you should be sensitive to the students and families feelings.
• Be A Role Model
  Another pitfall is that students can become “addicted” to streams of information on Facebook, which can foster a “gossip mentality,” said Buckley. “When students gather together, it is not uncommon to hear the phrase, ‘Did you see so-and-so’s status? Did you see the pics he posted?’ Many times, these statements turn into speculation and gossip, which can be hurtful.”

Jeremy Smith is a 26-year old youth pastor at the Air Force Academy chapel, working for Club Beyond, and attending Denver Seminary for his Master”s of Arts in Counseling Ministries. He has been involved in Youth for Christ for eight years and absolutely loves sharing the life of Jesus with teens. Check out his blog at Seventy8Productions.

 

1. Our staff started a Facebook group called iPray. It’s a closed group that students have to request to join. They can post what they need prayer for and pray for each other.

2. Groups – Before or after almost every event there seems to be a group started for it. Before the event groups are started to promote the event. After events like camp, groups are started to help students find each other on Facebook and stay connected

3. Pictures – EVERY week I take pictures (even if it’s just a few) at our weekend service or at Chick fil A afterward and throw them up on Facebook. Students love it. Not everybody can get away with that, though. It’s kind of funny. A friend dressed up as me at our Halloween party last year and was taking tons of pictures. People kind of freaked out a little until they realized he was just being me for Halloween. I don’t know how to explain that, but there’s something to be learned about having a person known for taking pics in your ministry. We’ve never made me an “official” photographer, people have just gotten used to me doing it.

4. TAG – I usually tag at least one student in each picture and they usually tag each other from there. Always tag your ministry in each picture. As students tag each other, they might see your ministry tagged. That’s just one more door for people to check you out.

5. Have your ministry’s profile open to the general public. People should be able to see everything there is to see without being friended with your ministry. I suggest having a profile instead of a page for your ministry. There’s more stuff you can do that way.

6. Go on once a day and wish people happy birthday. That’s a great way for friends of friends to see your ministry. It’s also a great way to have an extra touch in the lives of students… especially students who have stopped coming.

7. Look for concerns. If you see students who post status updates that show they are hurting or are posting inappropriate content, shoot them a Facebook email to touch base, encourage, invite out for a Coke. Be careful not to jump on their case if they’re posting inappropriate content. Address it in a redemptive way.

Younger adults rely on technology to facilitate their search for meaning and connection.  Technologies have begun to rewire the ways in which young people – meet, express themselves, use content and stay connected.

 •   Integration –  the usage of technology in youth ministry cannot be compartmentalized.  Youth pastors cannot only be on facebook at 3pm on Tuesday.  Technology has to play an integral role in the life of youth ministry.  Drew Sams (in his article) refers to Marshall McLuhan, a sociologist from the 20th century, who defined technology as an “extension of our humanity.”  It is important not to fight against the technological innovations but to learn how to adapt them into the every day praxis of youth ministry.  Don’t use technology just to “spy” on students.  Be visible, engaged, and interactive.  The youth pastors and youth leaders that can implement and manage technology integration in their ministries will be highly effective in their contact work and relational ministry.

My warning::: Please don’t let the integration of technology in your youth ministry dictate every aspect of your ministry.  If you do, you will have missed my point.  The use of technology should be used to enhance what you are already doing and to potentially change the way you are doing it, but only if it furthers the Kingdom.  Just being connected for the sake of being connected will waste the resource that technology can be.  There will need to be appropriate boundaries applied to this technology integration.  I would highly recommend Rhett Smith’s (licensed therapist and youth pastor) article:  Maintaing Relational Presence in a Technological World, which describes the insane importance of intentionality when using technology and how technology usage shapes us.

Darren is a veteran youth pastor in Corpus Christi, TX, and co-hosts a weekly podcast for parents of teenagers (http://www.facebook.com/mipodcast) with his wife, Katie.

It’s inevitable. A parent pulls the pin and throws that grenade right into the middle of your office. Actually, it’s probably a bonus if it’s thrown into your office and not in the middle of the hallway of the educational wing or the church foyer. So how can you diffuse the bomb before it explodes leaving devastation in its wake?

1. Apologize. Period. If you did something, apologize for doing it. If you didn’t, apologize for the misunderstanding and ask for a chance to make it right. And never apologize for them – like this: “I’m sorry you feel that way.” That’s not an apology for them – it’s an apology for you. Probably because you really ARE sorry they’re so mad because they’re spewing shrapnel everywhere.

2. Listen! Let them say everything they need to say. Part of diffusing is allowing the ‘injured party’ to be heard. And when I say listen – I mean really engage with what they are saying. Uncross you arms. Lean slightly toward them. Repeat what they’re saying to you to insure you understand what they are saying.

3. Try to make it right. If you, indeed, made a mistake – own it and try to make amends. Sometimes it’s impossible to do that and an apology is all you can offer.

4. Don’t exchange venom for venom. If they are completely off base, you can endeavor to shed some light – but don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t shine very far. The room’s probably been dark for a while….long before you ever entered the scene. If it’s obvious that progress will not be made or that digress is inevitable, abandon the mission with a smile and walk away.

5. Ignore it if it’s a fake bomb. Sometimes parents throw bombs at every turn. You see it lobbing in and all you think is ‘oh, look, another paper weight!’ This parent just seems to function better by making other people feel worse. Their complaints are baseless and without threat. So ignore it – that bomb’s not gonna go off anyway. It’s a false alarm. Parents are NOT the enemy. They are a great ally. But they can occasionally engage in friendly fire that’s not so friendly. Don’t let it taint your ministry to all parents…or even that parent. Love them in their fallibility – that’s where Jesus started loving you, right?

www.barna.org

Many parents and church leaders wonder how to most effectively cultivate durable faith in the lives of young people. A five-year project headed by Barna Group president David Kinnaman explores the opportunities and challenges of faith development among teens and young adults within a rapidly shifting culture. The findings of the research are included in a new book by Kinnaman titled You Lost Me: Why Young Christians are Leaving Church and Rethinking Church.

The research project was comprised of eight national studies, including interviews with teenagers, young adults, parents, youth pastors, and senior pastors. The study of young adults focused on those who were regular churchgoers Christian church during their teen years and explored their reasons for disconnection from church life after age 15.

No single reason dominated the break-up between church and young adults. Instead, a variety of reasons emerged. Overall, the research uncovered six significant themes why nearly three out of every five young Christians (59%) disconnect either permanently or for an extended period of time from church life after age 15.

Reason #1 – Churches seem overprotective.
A few of the defining characteristics of today’s teens and young adults are their unprecedented access to ideas and worldviews as well as their prodigious consumption of popular culture. As Christians, they express the desire for their faith in Christ to connect to the world they live in. However, much of their experience of Christianity feels stifling, fear-based and risk-averse. One-quarter of 18- to 29-year-olds said “Christians demonize everything outside of the church” (23% indicated this “completely” or “mostly” describes their experience). Other perceptions in this category include “church ignoring the problems of the real world” (22%) and “my church is too concerned that movies, music, and video games are harmful” (18%).

Reason #2 – Teens’ and twentysomethings’ experience of Christianity is shallow.
A second reason that young people depart church as young adults is that something is lacking in their experience of church. One-third said “church is boring” (31%). One-quarter of these young adults said that “faith is not relevant to my career or interests” (24%) or that “the Bible is not taught clearly or often enough” (23%). Sadly, one-fifth of these young adults who attended a church as a teenager said that “God seems missing from my experience of church” (20%).

Reason #3 – Churches come across as antagonistic to science.
One of the reasons young adults feel disconnected from church or from faith is the tension they feel between Christianity and science. The most common of the perceptions in this arena is “Christians are too confident they know all the answers” (35%). Three out of ten young adults with a Christian background feel that “churches are out of step with the scientific world we live in” (29%). Another one-quarter embrace the perception that “Christianity is anti-science” (25%). And nearly the same proportion (23%) said they have “been turned off by the creation-versus-evolution debate.” Furthermore, the research shows that many science-minded young Christians are struggling to find ways of staying faithful to their beliefs and to their professional calling in science-related industries.

Reason #4 – Young Christians’ church experiences related to sexuality are often simplistic, judgmental.
With unfettered access to digital pornography and immersed in a culture that values hyper-sexuality over wholeness, teen and twentysometing Christians are struggling with how to live meaningful lives in terms of sex and sexuality. One of the significant tensions for many young believers is how to live up to the church’s expectations of chastity and sexual purity in this culture, especially as the age of first marriage is now commonly delayed to the late twenties. Research indicates that most young Christians are as sexually active as their non-Christian peers, even though they are more conservative in their attitudes about sexuality. One-sixth of young Christians (17%) said they “have made mistakes and feel judged in church because of them.” The issue of sexuality is particularly salient among 18- to 29-year-old Catholics, among whom two out of five (40%) said the church’s “teachings on sexuality and birth control are out of date.”

Reason #5 – They wrestle with the exclusive nature of Christianity.
Younger Americans have been shaped by a culture that esteems open-mindedness, tolerance and acceptance. Today’s youth and young adults also are the most eclectic generation in American history in terms of race, ethnicity, sexuality, religion, technological tools and sources of authority. Most young adults want to find areas of common ground with each other, sometimes even if that means glossing over real differences. Three out of ten young Christians (29%) said “churches are afraid of the beliefs of other faiths” and an identical proportion felt they are “forced to choose between my faith and my friends.” One-fifth of young adults with a Christian background said “church is like a country club, only for insiders” (22%).

Reason #6 – The church feels unfriendly to those who doubt.
Young adults with Christian experience say the church is not a place that allows them to express doubts. They do not feel safe admitting that sometimes Christianity does not make sense. In addition, many feel that the church’s response to doubt is trivial. Some of the perceptions in this regard include not being able “to ask my most pressing life questions in church” (36%) and having “significant intellectual doubts about my faith” (23%). In a related theme of how churches struggle to help young adults who feel marginalized, about one out of every six young adults with a Christian background said their faith “does not help with depression or other emotional problems” they experience (18%).

Turning Toward Connection
David Kinnaman, who is the coauthor of the book unChristian, explained that “the problem of young adults dropping out of church life is particularly urgent because most churches work best for ‘traditional’ young adults – those whose life journeys and life questions are normal and conventional. But most young adults no longer follow the typical path of leaving home, getting an education, finding a job, getting married and having kids—all before the age of 30. These life events are being delayed, reordered, and sometimes pushed completely off the radar among today’s young adults.

“Consequently, churches are not prepared to handle the ‘new normal.’ Instead, church leaders are most comfortable working with young, married adults, especially those with children. However, the world for young adults is changing in significant ways, such as their remarkable access to the world and worldviews via technology, their alienation from various institutions, and their skepticism toward external sources of authority, including Christianity and the Bible.”

The research points to two opposite, but equally dangerous responses by faith leaders and parents: either catering to or minimizing the concerns of the next generation. The study suggests some leaders ignore the concerns and issues of teens and twentysomethings because they feel that the disconnection will end when young adults are older and have their own children. Yet, this response misses the dramatic technological, social and spiritual changes that have occurred over the last 25 years and ignores the significant present-day challenges these young adults are facing.

Other churches seem to be taking the opposite corrective action by using all means possible to make their congregation appeal to teens and young adults. However, putting the focus squarely on youth and young adults causes the church to exclude older believers and “builds the church on the preferences of young people and not on the pursuit of God,” Kinnaman said.

Between these extremes, the just-released book You Lost Me points to ways in which the various concerns being raised by young Christians (including church dropouts) could lead to revitalized ministry and deeper connections in families. Kinnaman observed that many churches approach generations in a hierarchical, top-down manner, rather than deploying a true team of believers of all ages. “Cultivating intergenerational relationships is one of the most important ways in which effective faith communities are developing flourishing faith in both young and old. In many churches, this means changing the metaphor from simply passing the baton to the next generation to a more functional, biblical picture of a body – that is, the entire community of faith, across the entire lifespan, working together to fulfill God’s purposes.”

Perry Noble is the pastor at New Springs Church in Andrewson S.C.

WARNING: The following post IS graphic…He use some language that may be considered offensive by some. This is NOT an apology…just wanted you to know!

I had the privilege of speaking at Clemson’s FCA the other night and I felt led to go in a direction towards the beginning of the message that I hadn’t planned on…and so I want to expound a little on a few things here.

I said, “My daughter is going to date one day…and the last thing I want her bringing home to meet me is a ‘nice Christian boy.’ If she does that I will probably have to punch that dude in the throat!”

Why? Simple–nice Christian boys are one of the reasons Christianity is not advancing the way Jesus has called us to. Why? Because a “nice” Christian boy will go to church, Bible study, raise his hands in worship and then go back to wherever he lives, sit at his computer look at porn and masturbate. And “boys,” it’s incredibly difficult to lead the charge against the gates of hell with your pants around your ankles. (Uh…this isn’t just college students–some married men are struggling with this as well! AND let me say I’ve struggled with this and the Lord delivered me from it seven and a half years ago! Here is a post I did on the subject.)

(YES…I said that word–and if it ticks you off then I invite you to get your head out of the sand and face reality…in fact, I did an entire post on the subject of masturbation…you can read it here!)

And the LAST thing I want my daughter growing up to be is a “nice” Christian girl. Why? Because these are the girls who WILL NOT necessarily have sex with a guy…but are not afraid to have oral sex and then justify their actions by saying, “well…we didn’t ‘do it!’”

We don’t need anymore “nice” Christian boys and girls…we need men and women who are madly and passionately in love with Jesus…who have a Philippians 3:10-11 mindset, who take Hebrews 12:2 view in life, who realize Philippians 2:5-11 was the BOLDEST move ever made and who want Matthew 22:36-40 to be true in their own lives.

Someone who is in love with Jesus just doesn’t care–they do not care if they are single, they want what Jesus wants for them. They do not care what people think about the type of house they live in or the kind of car they drive…they just want to see Jesus lifted up–even if that means sacrifice. They do not care if they are blogged about and/or ridiculed–they want to know Christ more and more and are willing to do ANYTHING He asks them to do.

One of the clearest marks of a disciple in Scripture is OBEDIENCE to Jesus. (John 14:15) We can have all of the knowledge in the world–but information without application is degradation! The Bible says in Psalm 95:7-8 that if we hear His voice that we should NOT harden our hearts.

Question–is there anything that God is calling you to do? Anything you need to stop doing? Anything you need to start doing? What is it that is going to take you from being a “nice” follower of Jesus to becoming someone who is radically in love with Him?

We all fight this battle…I know I have. In the past I have overcame a pornography addiction AND also an addiction to reading what was said about me on the internet, whether good or bad. WHICH God revealed to me was actually pride–the sin that got satan kicked out of heaven! AND I am constantly fighting daily to do what Philippians 4:8 and Colossians 3:2 says to do!

BUT–the LAST thing I ever want to be is a “nice” Christian man…I want to be a fully devoted FOLLOWER of Jesus Christ…the term Christian today has been so neutered! I don’t even like it anymore. (Stay calm…the term Christian is only used three times in the New Testament.) I’ve been that “nice Christian guy” in the past–but I want MORE…I want to see John 3:30 come true in my life!!!

What term do I like? JESUS LOVER! I want to be known as a Jesus lover…someone who is passionate about JESUS! My wife needs me to be in love with Jesus. My daughter needs me to be in love with Jesus. NewSpring needs me to be in love with Jesus. WHY? Because when I love Jesus I will do what He says…and that is NEVER a bad thing!

“Nice” Christian boys and girls will not change this world…EVER…all they do is put on a good front and then “live like hell” and think that no one sees. (I Samuel 16:7) BUT JESUS LOVERS…they are “all in!” Do they make mistakes? HECK YES! BUT…when they do so they ask for forgiveness, REPENT and then move on.

My passion is to raise up a church full of men and women who love Jesus…who don’t just play games but go all out to do whatever He asks. I am trying my best to do this…will you join with me? Let’s REALLY commit to knowing Christ and allowing HIM to be known through us…and let’s turn this world upside down for Him! He did it with some guys in the Gospels…I’m crazy enough to think He can do it again!