When You Want to Quit Student Ministry (Leneita Fix)

when you want to quit youth ministry

One of the most frustrating conversations I have with friends is the “You should quit ministry” conversation. Sure, there are days when I want to quit, more than I care to admit.

You know those days. They are filled with church politics, angry parents, mess-ups, complacent students, bad youth nights, and heartache. These are the moments in which tragedy occurs or the moments when a student we have discipled for six years decides following the Lord is just too hard. They are the moments you need someone to say, “What you do matters.” The last thing you need to hear is, “You know you can serve God anywhere, have you thought about being a barista at Starbucks?” Yes, you have thought about that too, but every time you almost press “send” on the internet application the Holy Spirit whispers you should stay. So what I do not need to hear on my wretched days is that I could walk away. I suspect those statements are not helpful to you either.

When your own “I QUIT” moments occur, consider these five things:

Is this where God placed you?

I think it is healthy to assess on a regular basis if you are where God wants you. This can apply to the church you are at, the job you hold, or if you should even stay in youth ministry at all. However, whenever someone says to me, “Have you considered another vocation?” I feel like I hear the Lord ringing in my ears, “NO!” As long as I know this is exactly where God wants me, then I need to stay put. If I doubt, then it’s good to get flat on my face before Jesus.

You are allowed to have a bad day (Or 15).

It’s alright to have a crummy day. Feel all the feelings that go with that. It is certainly more healthy to share it all with the Lord. We have great Biblical examples in Elijah, Jonah, Job, Jeremiah, David, and even Paul of those who didn’t handle every day perfectly. The God who created everything (even our emotions) can handle those same feelings. There are seasons when one bad day melds into the next. When frustrations begin to mount, it is really easy to put all of our energy into what is going wrong. This is the place where trouble occurs. Have your bad day, scream it out, then refocus and put your energy on Christ.

Write down some God moments.

I have heard stories about a folder we should all keep filled with thank you notes from students and parents. Well, fact is the “thank you’s” haven’t been huge for me over the years. YET, that doesn’t mean God hasn’t shown up and worked in the lives of the families I serve. On those terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days, cry yourself to sleep. Then wake up the next day and take some time to intentionally reminisce on ways you have seen God move in the lives you interact with. Write down a few. Start a journal, or maybe even a jar of papers with memories on them. Then the next time this happens, read a few and write down a few more.

What fills you up?

It can be easy to get worn down because we are stuck on the hamster wheel of doing. When is the last time you stopped and did something that you just like to do? Play a game, go for a run, read a book, binge watch something on the internet, crochet booties for your dog, have coffee with a friend. Spend some time with the Lord, just because you like Him, not because you have to prepare for the next program. On the bad days, sometimes we realize they hit us extra hard because we are empty.

Find “safe” people.

If I know there are people who will always tell me to quit. They are probably not the people I should turn to when I am raw. Instead, there are safe people who pray with me, love me, encourage me that I am not a failure, and point me back to Christ. One close friend encourages me most when she says, “I don’t know what to say, but I can support you.” The people who get you, and get why you don’t quit, these are the people we call who remind us that God lead us to this ministry and will get us through it.

Sometimes the Lord calls us out, and there may come a time when I do leave this place or this ministry. However, it won’t be because I am giving up on a bad day when I want to quit. My hope is that when I move to the next step, it will be because this is where God has called me to next. I know there will be days I want to quit in the next phase of life, too.

 

 

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